If You Can't Take the Heat
by Earendil Eldar
Summary: ... get out of the suit!


Tosh groaned as one of her monitors started flashing a message. "Bad news, team… Rift alert. And it looks big."

"When you say 'big'…?" Owen asked cautiously. "What are we talking about? A giant ice cube?"

"I highly doubt it," Tosh grumbled. "And I edit my analysis. Not big, but scattered. It looks like we'll have to go separate directions…."

"What have we got, Tosh?" Jack asked, making his way down from the office.

"Can't ID it, Jack, but it's not a singular entity and it's going different directions. I think it's take all of us out there," she said apologetically.

Jack nodded, studying the map with blinking Rift signals on the screen. "I concur. Alright, let's get out there, team!"

Ianto was already handing out cold bottles of water. "Jack… are you really going out there like that?" he said disapprovingly.

"Like what?"

Ianto searched for a summary description of what Jack looked like in short running shorts, a loose vest, and a pair of huaraches. "Like a Nightmare on Charles Street," he decided.

Jack smirked. "Ok, so it's not up to my usual impeccable standards, but this is not usual weather we're having. Come on."

An hour and a half later, Jack and Ianto had managed to corner the little Rift visitor they'd been hunting. There's was the last still ambulatory and the other three team members were en route to meet them at the SUV with their catches.

"I'll get the cage," Ianto said, turning to head back to where he'd left the containment cage. As Ianto turned, a sudden wave of dizziness rushed over him. There was a ringing in his ears and he couldn't quite remember what he'd been about to do. It didn't really matter anyway, he figured, because his legs felt like warm jelly. In what felt like slow motion, Ianto realized that he was actually sinking toward the ground.

"Ianto?" Jack questioned when he saw Ianto stop and sway mid-turn. "Ianto!" Jack abandoned the creature that looked like a squirrel-sized elephant and sprinted to catch Ianto as he collapsed. "What's wrong? What happened? Ianto?"

"Can't… Jack…. I don't, uh, dunno… dizzy."

Jack tapped his headset and shouted, "Owen, get over here, now! Ianto's collapsed. Tosh, Gwen, that whatever it was got away from us, get after it as fast you can." Jack lifted Ianto and carried him to the nearest shady tree. "Ok," Jack said soothingly, lying Ianto down. "You're ok. Just a little overheated." Jack started loosening Ianto's tie and unbuttoning his waistcoat.

"Jack, stop it. Don't wanna shag outside…. Don't have enough energy, anyway."

Jack leaned in to kiss Ianto's forehead. He was dismayed that Ianto had actually stopped sweating, that wasn't good. "No shagging, I promise, but you need to get these layers off. It's too hot out for dark three-piece suits, Ianto, and you aren't built for this weather." Jack lifted Ianto up toward him just enough to get his jacket, waistcoat, and shirt off. Ianto was boneless in his arms and offered neither help nor resistance.

Jack wished he still had some of the water Ianto had handed him as they were leaving the Hub and he hoped Owen had something wet or cold when he arrived. Jack wasted no time getting Ianto's Oxfords and socks removed, then started unbuckling his belt.

"Thought you said not shagging…. Jack… I don't like this."

"I'm sorry, Ianto, I really am. But I need to get you cooled down, now. Owen will be here in a minute and he'll probably confirm my diagnosis that you're bordering on heat stroke. So, please, just relax and let me get your trousers off."

Ianto just frowned and gave up trying to pay attention to what was going on.

"Ordinarily, this would not be the place for that, Jack," Owen opined, hurrying up. "What's going on, was it the alien? Ours didn't give us any trouble."

"Not the alien, Owen. He's overheated. Tell me you've got some ice packs."

"There should be some in the SUV cooler. Grab a few, huh? Water would be good, too, if there's any in there."

Jack sprinted to the SUV, grabbed the entire cooler, and hurried back over. "Should we cool him down right here, or get him into the SUV and back to the Hub as fast as possible?"

"He'll be alright. I'm gonna cool him down now, and when we get back he's gonna need to take it easy for a while. Rest of the day, at least," Owen said, taking a few ice packs and putting them under Ianto's arms. "Probably don't need him coming back out in the field until this heat wave is over either. No coffee for a few days, either. Not caffeinated anyway."

"Why's 'e here?" Ianto said, mustering an accusatory tone and weak glare at Owen. As far as Ianto was concerned, Owen Harper had no place anywhere near any activity that involved him and Jack taking clothes off.

"Trust me, Tea-boy, I'm not trying to get in yer pants. Reckon this oughta prove that," Owen said, situating an ice pack between Ianto's legs.

Jack winced and opened a bottle of water. "Here, tiny sips, alright?" he said, supporting Ianto's shoulders and holding the bottle up to his lips.

"Right. Keep the water steady with him. I'll bring the SUV over and switch on the air conditioning. He'll be fine, but he needs to relax. It's cool enough down in the Hub. As long as he just goes to bed, alone, and doesn't insist on cleaning the place, I think we can avoid having to put him in cryo."

Jack gave Owen a look that wasn't especially amused, but handed him the SUV keys. "You drive, I'll sit with him and make sure he keeps drinking."

Half an hour later, Jack had Ianto stretched out in his bunker, still stripped down to his pants. Ianto was still feeling pretty shaky, but his confusion had cleared up rather quickly on the drive back.

"You must have been sweating your guts out in that suit, Ianto," Jack said, shaking his head as he swabbed Ianto's wrists with a cool cloth. "Why didn't you just pull off a few things, anyway?"

"I considered it, but figured I was fine, just needed to push through it," Ianto shrugged.

"You are too damned stubborn," Jack concluded.

"Yeah, well, I might have dressed a bit more appropriately for the weather if I didn't have to overcompensate for your get-up. Had to make us look like a somewhat respectable organization."

"I think that went kinda pear-shaped when I had to undress you in a public park."

Ianto sighed and closed his eyes. It was a fruitless venture attempting to maintain one's dignity whilst in the employ of Torchwood. "Maybe. But that still wasn't as bad as mini-shorts and huaraches would have been," Ianto insisted.


End file.
